


Comfort Hoodie

by Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: And she's dealing with them in her own way, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Relationships, Rachel Roth has abandonement issues, Team as Family, but it doesn't always work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26290960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97/pseuds/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97
Summary: When Dick gets recruited for a top secret Justice League mission he has to leave for a while. It shouldn't be a problem at all, but for Rachel missing him is a lot harder than it should be.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Koriand'r & Garfield Logan & Raven, Dick Grayson & Rachel Roth, Dick Grayson & Raven
Comments: 4
Kudos: 73





	Comfort Hoodie

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I'm back with yet ANOTHER longer-than-necessary fic about our favourite father-daughter duo. This started out as a little cute and fluffy headcanon we came up with @legendsofentity on Tumblr, but then I, as per usual, started overthinking it, overanalyzing character's behavior and BAM! ABANDONENENT ISSUES! PLOT! And before I knew it I hit 11k words.
> 
> I really need to take a break, I'm spitting these fics out like a fucking machine (hehe who am I kidding, that's not gonna happen, lol ... Okay, maybe for two weeks. But I don't think I'll be able to hold back longer)
> 
> ANYWAY,
> 
> ENJOY!

"I'll be away for a week at most. Bruce didn't give me much detail, but I don't think it's going to take long." Dick's voice echoed through the living area as he zipped his brown duffel bag laying on the small glass table. "If there is a breakthrough with Blackfire, let me know. Donna - you're in charge."

The brunette's eyes grew hard as steel as she nodded seriously, accepting the role entrusted to her. Right now she resembled a soldier, only a salute was missing. She was Dick's right-hand man, so it was obvious that she would become the temporary leader of the Titans in his absence. And she was fully prepared for it. 

Kory nodded slightly as well, her body taut at the mention of her sister. It was a delicate subject for her and it kept her awake at night. Especially now that the usurper of the Tamaran throne posed an open threat to her new family. The red-haired woman twisted her fingers in a nervous gesture, hiding the trembling of her hands, and pressed her lips into a thin line. She tried to look relaxed, but it didn't work out well.

Standing between the two women, Rachel preferred to focus her attention on these little details rather than on what was happening to herself. She hid her trembling hands inside the back pockets of her jeans, her heart was pounding so hard that she was sure the entire building could hear it. She tried to breathe steadily and slowly through her nose, but the lump in her throat was getting bigger and her eyes stung from rising tears, which she tried to hold back at all costs. She bit back a frustrated groan.

_ Get a grip, girl. It's not the end of the world.  _

Her eyes were glued to the floor, but she quickly lifted her head at the sound of clasps closing a suitcase in which Dick kept his Nightwing suit. It was larger than the previous one and much more secure. She watched him adjust the latches and check the electronic lock. Rachel was the only one on the team who knew how to open it. Not because he had told her, no - it only took one accidental glance as he typed in the code to guess. Her birthday - it's like he wasn't even trying.

Dick slung the bag over his shoulder and placed his other hand on the suitcase, ready to go. Rachel held her breath. 

"Looks like I have everything… I think." he said with that goofy smile on his lips to ease the tension. Guess he succeeded, because Kory smiled widely and walked over to kiss him goodbye. They held onto each other for a few seconds and Rachel smiled despite the nerves eating at her from the inside. It was great to see them so happy and in love. 

"If you need anything, we'll mail it to you." Donna joked and gave him a quick hug. "Say hi to Alfred for me." 

"Of course, Miss Troy." Dick replied with a fake British accent, imitating their old friend perfectly. The two best friends chuckled cheerfully as if they were fifteen again. 

But then Dick's eyes fell on Rachel and his smile faded slightly. All this time she tried to make herself as small as possible, to shrink herself, praying that he wouldn't see how upset she was. When their eyes met, she forced a smile on her face, but it felt more like a grimace.

Dick let go of Kory's waist and took a step towards her, opening his arms.

"Come here." 

These two words worked like a spell on her, and within a second Rachel found herself inside his strong hold, nestling against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist tightly and let a few silent tears slip and damp the fabric of his shirt. Dick hugged her tighter, stroking her hair gently, and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"I'll be back soon." she felt his warm breath against her ear. "You'll survive, right?" 

"Yeah, sure." she said, but her quiet voice didn't sound very convincing. She tried to soothe her emotions, push them down and make them stay put but to no avail. She leaned slightly away from him without breaking their embrace and smiled softly. There was no point in hiding her teary eyes anymore, but she could at least try to convince him that everything was going to be fine. "It's only for one week after all." 

Dick studied her with his piercing gaze, and Rachel thought he probably was reading her like an open book right now. He knew perfectly well she didn't like that he was leaving so soon after she returned from Themyscira. It's only been three weeks. But she promised him she'd be okay. 

After a few seconds, his face lit up again with a happy grin.

"That's my girl." he said while stroking her cheek, a hint of pride resonating in his voice. "I'll see you soon, okay?" 

"Counting down the days already."

He laughed, then turned, grabbed his luggage, and faced the exit. 

"Hope to find this place in one piece when I get back!" he called out to them before the elevator doors closed behind him. The three girls looked at each other and chuckled, then replied in one voice. 

"Yes, sir!"

Rachel stood there a moment longer after he left, staring down the empty hallway as if she could make Dick come back by sheer force of her will. She didn't even hear Kory calling her name and flinched when the woman walked over to her and put her arm around her shoulders. 

"C'mon Rach, I need some help with dinner." 

Rachel nodded, grateful for the distraction. 

"Okay." 

Kory gave her a radiant smile and together they went to the kitchen and got to work. The unpleasant tension in Rachel's muscles disappeared, but she still felt her insides twisting into a knot. She let out a tired sigh.

_ Looks like it's going to be a long week. _

* * *

"I think I'm not actually hungry, you know?"

Everyone's eyes turned to her the moment these words fell out of her mouth and Rachel wanted nothing more than to curl herself into a ball and disappear under the table. For the past few minutes she hadn't eaten a single bite, only fumbling with her fork while propping her chin on the palm of her hand. The food must have grown cold by now. She kept her eyes down, carefully avoiding any eye contact, but she felt Kory's burning gaze on her. 

"Are you sure, Rachel?" she asked, a mix of surprise and confusion vibrating on the edge of her voice. "You've worked so hard on this, are you sure you don't want to eat?"

Rachel stared at her portion of macaroni and cheese and felt a twinge of guilt in her heart. Kory was right, they both put a lot of effort into this dinner, taking the opportunity to turn it into a little cooking class. Rachel was getting better at it, and she was excited to be able to serve the team something she had prepared on her own (well,  _ almost _ on her own). 

However, when everyone was seated at the table in the evening, she suddenly lost her appetite. Why? Because one seat was empty. One person was missing, and while it shouldn't be a problem, Rachel felt strange looking at the empty chair to her right. She tried to ignore it and concentrate on eating, but it felt as if her throat was being strangled by a garrote. The few bites she managed to swallow didn't want to stay in her stomach.

She tried to dismiss Kory's worried expression with a fake smile. 

"Guess I lost my appetite. I must have eaten too much candy or something. Save me some for later, okay?" 

Kory kept staring at her with unreadable eyes, while the rest of the group focused on their food, pretending they aren't eavesdropping on their conversation. Out of the corner of her eye, Rachel noticed Donna and Gar exchange concerned glances. 

"Allright." Kory sighed, her face transforming to look more neutral. "You'll find leftovers in the fridge."

"Thank you." Rachel replied and got up from her seat to go to her room. She knew Kory was watching her, so she didn't start running until she had disappeared around the corner of the hallway.

* * *

She tried to read a book, but every sentence slipped out of her mind a second later. Same with watching TV - she jumped between channels, unable to decide on one, then with a sigh of resignation she turned off the TV and left the living room. She also lost her desire to train after around 5 minutes, she didn't even lose a drop of sweat. Whatever she tried to do, Rachel couldn't focus on anything for more than a moment.

Gar invited her to his room to play on his gaming console when they passed each other in the hall, but she didn't have the strength for that either, so she politely declined, excusing herself with being tired, then locked herself in her room and threw herself on the bed. 

Indeed, Rachel felt completely exhausted. She had no strength for anything at all, she felt heavy, as if her veins were filled with liquid iron. She was actually more tired than after a full day of training with the Amazons. And she had no idea why she felt like that at all. 

She looked out the window. It was late, the night came over the city and the full moon was shining high in the dark sky, reflecting in the surface of water. The view was wonderful, just like when she sat with Dick on the roof that first night after coming back home, cuddled against his chest. They took the time to catch up after months of not seeing each other and then tried to find as many constellations as they could in an exceptionally clear, cloudless sky. After being on a tropical island for so long, the Californian night felt chilly to her, but wrapped in his strong arms, closed in a warm embrace, she didn't care. She was finally home, that was all that mattered.

What is he doing right now? Is he already in Gotham? Is he getting ready to go to sleep, or maybe he's patrolling the streets with his old mentor? 

Rachel shook her head, clearing her mind. Whatever Dick was doing, he was definitely busy. 

_ It's only one week _ , she reminded herself.  _ Just seven days _ . 

She slowly got out of bed, grabbed her pajamas, and headed to the bathroom, intending to take a shower. After a dozen or so minutes, she returned to her bedroom, closed the curtains and crawled under the covers. She laid on her side and, taking a deep breath, closed her eyes. Since she was so tired, sleep should come easily to her.

* * *

But it wasn't easy at all. Rachel couldn't sleep, even though she tried very hard. She tossed and twisted on the bed, turning from side to side, but still kept ending up staring at the ceiling. She counted sheep, steadied her breath, even tried to slow down her heartbeat as Dick taught her during one of their lessons. But nothing worked - 3 hours had passed since she went to bed and Rachel was still awake. Realizing that her situation was not going to change anytime soon, she got up and walked quietly to the kitchen.

Pouring water into a glass, she remembered the leftovers waiting for her in the fridge. She didn't feel like eating now, and it was too late for that anyway, so she decided to leave it for the morning. She put the empty glass in the sink and went back to her room.

However, her legs carried her further down the hall, and Rachel hadn't even realized when she stopped in front of Dick's bedroom door. She froze, staring at the knob. She shouldn't be here, especially at this late hour. She should go back to her bed, but she knew she will not be able to fall asleep in her room tonight.

So she looked around to make sure no one could see her and then, after a moment of hesitation, stepped inside and quietly closed the door behind her. 

Thanks to the open curtains, the entire room was bathed in silver moonlight. But even in complete darkness Rachel would have no problem moving around. She'd be able to find an armchair, a chess board on a small table or a door to a private bathroom with her eyes closed. She couldn't count the number of times she had come here before, most often after being tortured by nightmares at night. She would also sometimes wake up in this bed having no idea how she got here, and it usually took her only a moment to realize that she must have fallen asleep while watching a movie and Dick probably brought her here.

Now she couldn't sleep either, and being in this place usually helped with her insomnia. But this time there was one fundamental difference - the room was empty and its owner was far away, almost on the other side of the country. 

Rachel walked slowly over to the neatly made bed, it'd be a shame to mess it up. But she was tired, she just wanted to fall asleep and stop thinking about the nerves and anxiety squeezing her chest. She grabbed a corner of the sheets and was about to lay down under them when suddenly something caught her attention. 

A dark green hoodie was rolled up on the pillow. Rachel recognized it immediately, because Dick had been wearing it the previous morning, when they had gone out together to grab a coffee from their favorite coffee shop. She reached out and took the item in her hands - it was warm and soft, and there was a little black stain near the neckline from her own mascara. Rachel probably left it there when Dick pulled her to him as it started to rain. She smiled at the memory - they had to run to their car to avoid getting drenched, and they were laughing like little kids.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee got mixed with cologne and aftershave Dick always used, creating his signature scent. It reminded her of his hugs, always tight and warm, making her feel safe and secure. Suddenly she felt her throat closing and tears welling up in her eyes. She tried to control it by taking a deep breath, but she couldn't stop a quiet sob from escaping. 

_ This is ridiculous _ , she thought, burying her face in the fabric.  _ Why am I feeling like this? What I would give for your hug right now...  _

Without a moment's thought, Rachel put the hoodie on. It was way too big for her - it covered her almost to her knees and the sleeves were a few inches too long. She felt as if she was drowning in it. But at the same time it gave her a substitute for what she wanted most at the moment. It was like she had Dick right by her side, like he was cuddling her to sleep. 

Rachel stretched, a long yawn escaping her lips. She laid down and pulled the covers up to her chin. Immediately she felt all the tension leave her like air from a balloon and the knot in her stomach loosened. She closed her eyes, pressed her face to the soft pillow and she was out like a light before she knew it. 

* * *

When she woke up, she felt as if she had spent the night in a white fluffy cloud. She was warm and comfortable, and Rachel had no desire to move out of bed. But the sun was already high on the horizon, illuminating the room with golden rays, which meant that soon Kory or Gar would call her for breakfast.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes, getting rid of the rest of her sleepiness. 

Looking around the room, she smiled widely and felt happiness and excitement blooming in her heart. But those feelings shattered like glass when she remembered that she had been sleeping here all night alone, and Dick was not making her favorite pancakes in the kitchen right now, because he wasn't home.

Rachel looked down at herself. The sleeves of Dick's hoodie rolled up almost to her elbows, and when she pulled them down, they covered her fingers. The sweatshirt gave her a little comfort, but it wasn't the same as having him here in person.

Grumbling with dissatisfaction, she dragged herself out of bed and quickly tiptoed to her bedroom to change.

She tossed the hoodie on her bed and pulled out a pair of tattered black jeans and a gray t-shirt from the closet. She put them on quickly and was already reaching for the door when she suddenly stopped and turned around, locking her gaze on the green bundle.

She felt strange without it. The fatigue was already starting to pour back into her bones and her head felt weirdly heavy. Maybe her mind was playing games with her. She should feel better after breakfast. 

Rachel bit her lip, not sure what to do.

_ Maybe I shouldn't… ah, what the hell. _

She walked over to the bed and pulled the hoodie back on before she could change her mind. Wasting no more time, she closed the door behind her and headed for the kitchen.

She could already hear the sounds of arguing from the hallway. Gar and Rose were fighting loudly about something, the noise breaking through Donna's annoyed voice trying to separate them. Rachel couldn't help but groan in annoyance. She didn't care what they were arguing about and didn't want to know the details. Couldn't she just eat breakfast alone, in peace? Feeling a seed of anger sprouting in her stomach, Rachel pulled the hood over her head and entered the main living area.

The smell of pancakes reached her immediately - Kory was standing by the stove, putting the last pieces from the pan on the plates. Rachel ignored the chaos at the table, sat down by the kitchen island and began to eat without a word.

"Good morning, sleepyhead!" Kory greeted her with a huge smile, handing her a glass of orange juice. She cast a curious glance at her clothes, but refrained from commenting. Unfortunately, she was the only one to do so.

"Hey Rach!" Gar said happily, sitting next to her and bumping her shoulder. "Uh… nice hoodie. Change of style?"

Rachel snorted.

"No."

"She probably ran out of clothes in her closet." Rose added as she walked past them. She stopped behind Rachel and ripped the hood off her head with one quick move. "Looks cute, but I don't think that's your size."

Now irritated even more, Rachel pulled the hood back into place, giving her friend a murderous glare.

"Shut up."

Meanwhile, Donna got up from the couch and walked slowly towards them, carrying an empty coffee mug in her hand.

"Isn't it Dick's hoodie?" she asked, putting it in the sink.

Rachel shrugged and continued eating without even looking up at the brunette.

"Maybe." She replied gruffly, feeling that she was starting to lose patience. She didn't feel like answering their stupid questions. "What about it?"

Donna understood the message and raised her hands in surrender.

"Nothing." she stuttered, embarrassed. "Nothing at all. Just-"

"Good." she cut her off, pushing the empty plate away, then abruptly got up from her chair. She gave Kory a brief glance. "I'll be in my room."

Not giving her a chance to answer, Rachel turned and walked quickly towards the hallway. Behind her back she heard the others exchanging quiet questions. 

_ What is going on? What's wrong with her? _

She didn't want to answer them because she didn't know the answer herself.

She just wanted them to leave her alone.

* * *

The rest of the day dragged on forever. Rachel forced herself to join the rest of the team for a training session, but was unable to concentrate on any task, often landing with her back on the mat. The constant losing only annoyed her more and when Donna announced the end of training, Rachel was the first one to run out of the room.

In the afternoon, Kory took her shopping to the mall. The day was almost boiling hot, so Rachel had left Dick's hoodie at home, but felt uncomfortable without it. She didn't know why, but she treated it like an armor, a protective shield. And without it she felt bare and exposed.

She couldn't complain about the lack of clothes - despite Rose's suggestion, she had too many. Dick once even came up with the idea of building her a walk-in closet. She'd agreed to going out today mainly to get rid of the gloomy thoughts and irritation that had cluttered her mind since morning. But despite her protests, Kory insisted on buying her something.

They were sitting now at a table in one of many restaurants, shopping bags stacked up next to them. Rachel chewed at the french fries while Kory flipped through the photos on her phone.

"You look gorgeous in this dress!" the woman squealed with delight and turned the phone towards her. Rachel saw herself standing awkwardly in the fitting room, wearing a red and black plaid dress with a black leather belt at the waist. Any other day, she would have been happy about this purchase, she wanted something like that for a long time now. Today, however, nothing could improve her mood.

"Whatever." she just muttered, dipping her fries in ketchup without enthusiasm. 

Kory did not notice her sullen tone. She took the phone back and started typing vigorously, smiling at the screen like crazy.

"I'm sending this to Dick."

Rachel's eyes widened.

"What? No! Kory-"

But it was too late, the picture was already sent. The red-haired woman gave her an innocent smile.

"Oops."

Rachel rolled her eyes and went back to eating those disgusting fries. She wanted to get this over with and go home. To be able to hide in her bed from everyone and finally be alone. 

She was about to ask Kory when they'd be going back when suddenly her phone vibrated in the pocket of her jeans. She pulled it out and smiled (for real this time) at the sight of a message from Dick. He sent her a picture of himself with his thumb up and a goofy grin on his face. And there were three words underneath.

**_You look lovely_ ** **.**

_ Okay _ , she thought.  _ Maybe there is something that can make my day better. _

* * *

He called her late in the evening.

Rachel was lying in her bed, buried in the sheets, nibbling a thread on the sleeve of his hoodie. At first she wanted to ignore the buzzing of her phone, but when she saw the caller ID, she jumped in excitement and answered the call as fast as she could.

_ "I see you had an eventful day today." _ Dick said in greeting, causing a wave of warmth to roll over her body at the sound of his voice. She closed her eyes and sighed softly in relief, it felt so good to hear it.

"Yeah, it wasn't bad." She laughed as she laid down on her back. "Wish you were there, though. Kory found a great jacket for you."

Dick laughed out loud on the other side of the line.

_ "Why am I not surprised? And I hope you bought that dress, by the way. Please, tell me you did." _

"Yes,  _ of course _ I did." She giggled and rolled her eyes. "How was your day?"

He sighed heavily, and Rachel pictured in her mind how his smile faded and he rubbed his hand over his eyes. He must have been very tired.

_ "Hard and difficult." _ he said after a moment.  _ "I can't reveal anything, the security protocol and all that, but things got complicated and we had a lot of work today." _

Something in his voice made Rachel worry. There was a strain, as if every other word was spoken through gritted teeth. It was more than mere fatigue.

"Is everything alright?"

_ "Yes, our plan still works-" _

"No, I mean…" she cut him off, then took a deep breath. "Are you okay?"

The silence in the speaker made her heart skip a beat. Was he injured and tried to hide it? He sounded a bit like he was trying to cover the pain with a light tone. If so, how serious was the injury?

_ "I'm fine, Rach." _ he calmed her with a soft voice. She really wanted to believe him.

"Dick-"

_ "Really, don't worry. It's just a few bruises and cuts. Maybe one black eye. I'll survive." _

Rachel swallowed a lump forming in her throat, brows furrowed in a worried frown. For Dick, the bar for what he thought he could survive was very high, like  _ above all logical thinking _ high. He might as well be in the Batcave infirmary right now with a gunshot wound and a few fractures.

"Are you sure it's nothing serious?"

She couldn't get the fear out of her voice. Dick must have felt it, 'cause he sighed quietly, and when he spoke again, his voice was tender and soft as silk.

_ "Yeah, I'm sure. Everything's okay, baby. I'll be back home, safe and sound, in a few days." _

Rachel turned to her side and pressed her fist wrapped in the sleeve of his hoodie against her mouth. She could barely contain a sob at the sound of the word  _ baby _ .

"I miss you." she mumbled after a while, wiping a tear from her cheek. She didn't want Dick to know she was crying. She wanted to be brave.

_ "I miss you too." _ she heard in response. His voice was just a tad louder than a whisper, but the tenderness emanating from it was soothing to her shattered nerves. _ "I understand it's hard for you. You've been gone for 6 months and you just got back. I don't like being away from you either. But we can hold on for a little longer, right?" _

This time a sob escaped from her throat, and she tried to mask it with laughter.

"What is 7 days compared to 6 months, right?"

They both laughed lightly at the question.

_ "It's late, Rachel." _ he said after a moment.  _ "You should go to bed." _

"I  _ am _ already in bed." she informed him. "Hope you get enough sleep too."

Dick snorted.

_ "Of course." _

Rachel looked at the moon outside the window and hesitated. She knew their conversation was coming to an end, but she really,  _ really _ didn't want to hang up. Unfortunately, Dick was right - it was getting late and he was exhausted and sore, probably after a fight. She should let him rest.

So she pushed back the tears flowing from her eyes, calmed her breath, and whispered with hope coloring her quiet voice.

"So… I'll see you soon."

_ "Counting down the days already." _

Rachel chuckled. Dick used every opportunity to make her smile and laugh.

"Goodnight, Dick."

_ "Goodnight, honey." _

She let him hang up first because she didn't dare to do it herself. But this short conversation really made her feel better. So she wrapped his hoodie tighter around herself, pulled the hood over her head, then made herself comfortable and covered up with the duvet. Her eyelids drooped instantly and sleep came to her very quickly this time.

* * *

Unfortunately, this was the only time she had heard from him, he went completely silent for the rest of the week. Rachel texted him a few times, but he never replied. Calling was useless either. Donna told her not to worry, that going radio silent was a typical safety protocol during The League's high profile missions. She kept insisting Dick did this to protect them and it's nothing out of the ordinary, but Rachel couldn't help but feel anxious and on edge. He said he was okay despite a few minor injuries, but a lot of time had passed since then. So this sudden silence was even more alarming.

The days blurred into one dull, never ending reality. She wandered the hallways like a ghost - pale, silent and cold. That painful knot in the pit of her stomach came back and she couldn't get rid of it no matter how hard she tried. 

Every little thing got on her nerves. Sometimes she felt like she wanted to punch something but didn't have the strength for it. One day Hank made a comment about how he almost didn't notice her napping on the couch in the living room because Dick's hoodie covered her almost entirely and she became invisible when she curled up on the sofa that was basically the same color. 

"You're like a big, grumpy ball of clothing." he said and Rachel snapped. If it wasn't for Gar holding her back and Hank's quick reflexes, she would have ripped the man to shreds. 

He wasn't the only one making comments about her wearing Dick's hoodie - Dawn and Donna thought it was adorable, but a little worrying that she kept it on all the time now. She just fixed them a glare and walked away without a response. 

"You know you're gonna have to wash it at least once, right?" Rose reminded her one morning while reaching for her hood, but she slapped her hand away. 

"Don't touch it." she growled, eyes flashing red. Rose jumped back, surprised.

"For real, Rach?" she asked. "It's just a hoodie. That whole  _ withering with longing _ act stopped being cute like two days ago. Seriously, get over it!"

It felt like a slap in the face. Rachel staggered back, breath hitching in her throat. 

"Fuck you!" she blurted out and ran away before Rose could see her tears.

Even going half blind, Rachel found her way to Dick's bedroom. She slammed the door shut and threw herself on the bed, sobbing loudly. She wanted to cry ever since the morning after his call, five days ago. Her throat was burning from keeping that bile down all the time. She's been holding it back for so long that now she couldn't stop. The dam broke. 

A quiet knocking sound came from the door, causing her to bury herself in the sheets even more.

"Go away!"

"Rachel, it's me!" she heard Kory's voice from behind the wall. "I'm coming in, okay?"

She didn't have the strength to stop her so she didn't respond. There was a soft creak of door opening and clicking of heels before the mattress dipped behind her and a warm hand rested on her shoulder.

"Hey, kiddo." the woman whispered tenderly. "Wanna come out of hiding and talk to me for a moment?"

Rachel hesitated briefly but then sat up slowly and pulled the hood down. Kory's expression turned even more worried and sympathetic when she noticed her wet cheeks, snot and red, bloodshot eyes. 

"Oh, sweetie…"

She quickly reached out to the drawer of a bedside table and pulled out a pack of tissues, then handed it to Rachel so she could wipe herself clean. Once she was done, the redhead pulled her into her arms.

"You really miss him that much, don't you?" she asked softly while Rachel rested her head on her shoulder and sniffled.

"I'm so worried, Kory. It scares me that we can't reach him."

She felt the woman's hand rubbing soothing circles on her arm.

"I know, Rachel. I'm worried too." She admitted. Her voice sounded a little bit strained and her body tensed for a second. But then Kory released a deep breath and continued. "But you heard what Donna said - this is how The Justice League works. We can't do anything about it."

"But I have this… feeling." Rachel cried. "I can't shake it off."

"Rach, are you sure you're not overreacting?"

"I wish I was." she sighed tiredly. "Missing him is making it hard enough. I know he told me I shouldn't worry, that it's just a few cuts and bruises-"

"Yeah, he told me that too." Kory added.

"-but I can't stop worrying. I just… I just want him back home." her voice broke at the last word and she started sobbing again, burying her head in the crook of Kory's neck. The woman held her tightly and kissed her forehead, rocking her slowly in her arms.

"Everything is gonna be okay, kiddo." she mumbled to her ear. "You know him, he's not that easy to kill."

"But he's not invincible."

"True." she agreed. "But Dick knows we're waiting for him here so he's gonna try twice as hard to stay alive."

Rachel nodded silently and cuddled to her closer. She was so damn tired, her head hurt from crying so hard and she just wanted to sleep. But more than that she wanted Dick to come home already. Maybe it was childish thinking, maybe she should feel embarrassed because of how much she needed him, but she didn't care right now. She just wanted him to hold her, drop a kiss on top of her head and tell her everything is alright. 

"Lay down and get some rest." Kory told her after a few minutes, gently pushing her down on her pillow, then pulled the cover up to her chin. "You can stay here as long as you want, okay? I'll check on you later and bring you dinner."

"Okay." she nodded and made herself comfortable. "Thank you, Kory."

The red-haired woman smiled at her lovingly and brushed a strand of hair out of her face, tucking it under the hood. 

"No problem, sweetheart. Call me if you need anything, alright?"

"Mhmm."

Rachel closed her eyes and sank deeper into the pillows. She heard Kory closing the door and finally let herself rest. But she didn't sleep. She couldn't. Instead she just laid there, trying to calm her labored breathing. Turning to the side she curled herself into a fetal position. The lump in her throat was hurting her but she didn't want to cry anymore. It was too exhausting to cry.

In her direct line of sight Rachel noticed a framed photo standing on the bedside table. Four smiling faces looked back at her - Dick, Kory, Gar and herself, all locked in a tight embrace. Donna took this photo the day the two of them came back from Themyscira.  _ A family portrait _ , she had called it.

The picture sparked an even more recent memory in her mind and Rachel found herself travelling in time, back to Dick's last night at home.

*********

_ "Do you really need to go?" Rachel asked as she dropped on Dick's bed, bouncing a little on the thick mattress. She took the framed photo in her hands and smiled at it - a family portrait indeed, that's why she loved it so much. _

_ Dick let out a tired sigh and folded a t-shirt before putting it in his duffel bag sitting on the bed. _

_ "Unfortunately. When The League calls, you answer." _

_ She climbed further onto the king size bed and laid down on top of the covers, resting her hands behind her head. Her eyes followed him as he rounded the room, collecting things he needed to take. The bag was almost full already so it was really only a matter of checking if everything was packed.  _

_ "But you have your own team now!" she argued. "They know that! And why does it have to be you, anyway?" _

_ He put the last item in the bag - a pair of black pants - and zipped it in one swift move. _

_ "Look Rachel, Bruce wouldn't call for me if it wasn't important." he said looking her in the eye. And Rachel knew that. Maybe The Justice League had aliens, ancient demigod warriors and other celestial beings amongst their ranks, but Nightwing was an incredibly valuable asset as well. If they need him, they must have had a valid reason for it. _

_ Dick took the bag and put it away in the corner next to a drawer. Then he walked over to the bed and laid down next to her on the other side. She instantly took the opportunity and scooted closer, cuddling herself to his side. He wrapped his strong arms around her right away, closing her in a tight embrace, as she rested her head on his chest. For a while they just lay still and only their synchronized breaths disturbed the silence of the mostly dark room, slightly illuminated by a night lamp to their right. _

_ "I don't want you to go." Rachel mumbled into his shirt, tracing an invisible pattern on his chest with her index finger. Nightwing symbol.  _

_ "I know, baby." he breathed out and pulled her closer, tightening his hold around her. "But it's only for a week. I'll be back before you know it." _

_ "Yeah, I know, but…" she trailed off, feeling her insides already twisting painfully. Dick noticed and nudged her gently. _

_ "But what?" he asked quietly, she felt his warm breath on her forehead. "What is it, Rach? What's bothering you?" _

_ "It's stupid… And- and childish-" _

_ "Rachel." _

_ She looked up at him. His eyes were full of warmth and affection, but she could see worry creeping behind. He started rubbing her back comfortingly while his other hand slipped around her waist. And suddenly Rachel felt her throat closing and tears pricking behind her eyes. She tried to hold them back - she hated crying, especially in front of him. _

_ "I don't really know what it is." she admitted. "I don't understand it. I've spent six months away from you, on a magical island, and I was fine. But now you're leaving for a week - a damn week - and I feel like… like I'm falling apart." _

_ She didn't notice her tears started falling until Dick began wiping them away with his hand. A shuddering breath escaped her lips when he brushed her cheek and she closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. Then she felt his lips on her forehead, leaving a tender, loving kiss on her skin. _

_ "Believe me, I get it." he whispered. "We just got each other back after so long. And it sucks that I have to leave so soon." _

_ "Yeah, it does." she chuckled wetly, snuggling back to his chest. His hand moved from her back and now rested on her head, stroking her hair gently. _

_ "But it's a blink of an eye to what we've just been through. And we survived, didn't we?" _

_ "Yeah…" _

_ "So we can do it again." _

_ Rachel loved how optimistic he sounded. And he was right - seven short days was nothing. She knew she could survive this long, her fears were irrational. But getting rid of that anxiety wasn't as easy as it seemed.  _

_ His two fingers made their way under her chin and he gently lifted her head up so she could look him in the eyes. _

_ "Are you gonna be okay?" he asked seriously. She read the rest from his worried expression, he was willing to call Batman to say he's not coming. Because of her. He was really considering it. _

_ She gave him a soft smile and nodded. _

_ "I'll be alright. Promise." _

_ "Good." _

_ A long yawn escaped her lips, causing Dick to smile. His eyes softened, looking almost dreamy. He always had this expression on his face whenever she did or said something he considered adorable. It annoyed her most of the time. But not now. _

_ "I should probably go to sleep." she murmured into his shirt. _

_ "Yeah, that's a good idea." _

_ "But you're so warm and comfy."  _

_ His soft laugh resonated through his entire chest. _

_ "You can always stay." _

_ It was tempting. She loved falling asleep with him. But if she was going to survive the next few days, she needed to start now. _

_ "Not tonight." she said as she sat up, then turned to face him. "I need to prepare myself for the upcoming week." _

_ "As you wish. But the door's open if you change your mind." _

_ Rachel smiled at him again. It was overwhelming sometimes how much she loved him. He never judged her, never denied her anything, always gave her what she wanted the most. He didn't care that she was an almost fifteen year old girl who had a hard time being left alone and demanded cuddles almost on daily basis. He never deemed her childish, never told her to grow up - he was always happy to provide whatever she needed.  _

_ "I know." she said at last, then leaned down and kissed his cheek before jumping out of bed. _

_ "Goodnight, Dick." _

_ "Sleep tight, baby girl." _

*********

"Rachel? Are you awake?"

She stirred a little, her body feeling stiff. She rubbed her eyes then blinked few times and when her vision stopped being so blurry she saw Gar standing awkwardly in front of her, holding a plate with steaming food. 

"Gar?" she asked, then cleared her throat. Her voice felt a bit groggy. "What are you doing here?"

"I, uh…" he stuttered, putting the plate down on the bedside table. "I brought you dinner."

She sat up, followed his gaze and saw a bowl full of beef and mushrooms with smashed potatoes, and a glass of orange juice. Instantly her stomach started rumbling and her mouth watering. She was very hungry.

"Um, thanks." she replied quietly, but then something clicked in her mind. "But… isn't it too early for dinner? I mean, Kory was just here and-"

"Kory was here like five hours ago." he interrupted her, explaining slowly. Her brows furrowed in confusion. Five hours? Guess she must have fallen asleep after all and simply lost track of time.

"Oh."

Gar looked down sheepishly and wrinkled his hands in a nervous matter.

"I- I know you probably expected Kory, she said she was gonna check up on you-"

"Where is she?" she asked quickly but it sounded harsher than she intended it to be. Gar involuntarily flinched.

"There was some kind of emergency and the team needed to go. I stayed to keep an eye on you."

Suddenly a loud alarm started ringing in her skull. Her eyes widened in fear.

"Is it about Dick?"

"No! No, don't worry." he calmed her down and she fell back on her pillows, relieved. "An armed robbery or something, on the other side of the city. Donna said they should be back before nightfall."

"Okay."

They were both silent for a moment. Gar stood next to the bed looking around the room while Rachel simply laid on her back and stared at the ceiling.

He cleared his throat and moved towards the door.

"I'll be in my room."

Her hand shot out from underneath the covers and grabbed his wrist.

"Gar… thank you."

He gave her his usual cheerful smile.

"You're welcome. And…" his hand slipped in hers and held it tightly. His eyes softened. "It's gonna be okay, you know? Week is almost over, Dick will be back sooner than you think."

Rachel felt warmth spreading over her chest. She squeezed his hand.

"Yeah, you're right."

"I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you back on that island."

She released a deep sigh, looking down at their hands.

"It… yeah, six months is a long time."

"Tell me about it. Especially when you don't get to say goodbye."

Her head shot up and she found him grinning at her stupidly. She knew exactly what he meant.

"You're never gonna let that go, are you?"

His grin got even bigger.

"Nope. Never."

Rachel let go of his hand to slap his arm playfully. Both teenagers laughed at it and for a moment Rachel felt almost normal again.

Gar threw a glance and her dinner plate.

"Eat it before it gets cold. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay."

When he left Rachel took the plate and moved to a small table by the window. She didn't want to risk making a mess in bed. Her appetite came back and she ate everything, even made a quick trip to the kitchen to put the dishes away. On her way back she grabbed a book from her room and went back to bed. Maybe she'll manage to actually read a little this time. 

Kory came to check on her in the evening. She said the mission was easy and successful, and they've brought pizza, but Rachel wasn't hungry anymore. 

For the first time this week Rachel went to sleep completely relaxed. It seemed like things were going to get better.

* * *

_ The eyes of that creepy angel statue seemed to be following her. She walked past it, keeping her distance, and moved further into that damned graveyard. _

_ This time there was no rain, no funeral, no mourning crowd under the sea of black umbrellas. The whole place was now filled with complete, almost unnatural silence. It felt as if all sound had been sucked out from the world. Rachel couldn't hear the whistle of the wind, the rustle of leaves on the tall old trees, or even the sound of her own footsteps. _

_ The black marble gravestone stood in the same place as before. Just like the first time, Rachel felt indescribable pain at the sight of the white letters carved in the stone for a name so dear to her heart. Grief crushed her throat, the air disappeared from her lungs. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't make even the most quiet whisper. _

_ She took a wobbly step forward and stroked the words with trembling fingers. _

**_Dick Grayson._ **

_ It couldn't be real. She couldn't imagine it was him who was now six feet underground. It was a concept so foreign it seemed impossible. But as Rachel looked the way she had come from, her gaze found pools of deep red blood on the ground, mixed with dirt and tinting the blades of grass a rusty color. _

_ Where he told her to not give up. _

_ Where he fell, holding her hand, the light fading in his eyes. _

_ Where Slade Wilson drove his sword straight through his chest. _

_ Rachel was so caught up in this awful memory that at first she didn't hear the faint sound breaking through the dead silence. She froze motionless as it reached her ears and tried to locate where it came from. It appeared as if… from under the ground. _

_ A heartbeat. _

_ She looked at the gravestone in disbelief and plunged her trembling hand into the freshly dug ground. _

_ "Dick?" _

_ The sound grew louder. The heartbeat was stronger now, faster and more steady. She heard it very clearly now, just like when she laid her head against his chest. She dug the fingers of both hands into the ground and closed her eyes, concentrating all her focus on that one sound. _

_ And then suddenly… _

_ "Rachel…" _

_ A whisper so soft it could be a gust of wind. _

_ Her eyes widened in astonishment. _

_ "Dick, is that you?" _

_ "Rachel…" she heard again. This time his voice was clearer. "Help me." _

_ She gasped sharply, a sob coming from her mouth, and tears streaming down her cheeks. _

_ "Dick! Oh God, Dick ... hold on, I'll get you out of there." _

_ She threw herself on the ground and began digging as fast and as deep as much strength she had in her arms. Her whole body was shaking from crying, tears blurred her vision. Her nails broke and blood was dripping from her hands. The smell of wet dirt burned her nostrils. But she kept digging. _

_ "Rachel…" he whispered again, much more quiet this time. She took a chance and paused for a second, listening. Her eyes widened in fear - his heartbeat was getting weaker! _

_ "Don't give up!" she screamed, digging with even more fierceness. She had to get to him as soon as possible. "You hear me? Just a little longer, hold on." _

_ But there was too much ground and Rachel was getting weaker. As her cries increased, her movements became slower. And his heartbeat grew quieter. _

_ "No…" she sobbed miserably. "Please, no… Dick…" _

_ Exhausted, she fell on her face as his heart gave its last beat. _

* * *

"Dick!"

Rachel woke up abruptly with his name on her lips. She couldn't catch her breath, her lungs ablaze, heavy tears streaming down her cheeks. The duvet was tangled around her legs. Her heart was hammering in her chest, she was covered in sweat but at the same time shaking from the cold. And surrounded by complete darkness.

In a surge of sudden panic, Rachel reached for the bedside lamp and turned it on. A warm yellow light flooded the room. She calmed down a bit as she realized she was in Dick's bedroom. She recognized the familiar surroundings, the scent of the sheets and soothing touch of his sweatshirt on her body. She breathed a sigh of relief.

But then the nightmare returned to her, paralyzing her with redoubled force.

The cemetery.

His grave.

The weakening heartbeat.

Rachel looked at her hands quickly. They were clean. She studied them from every angle in the light, but found no dirt.

A memory of that sour smell of wet ground made her sick. With her hand pressed to her mouth, she jumped out of bed and ran to Dick's private bathroom. She fell to her knees in front of the toilet and emptied her stomach. Spasms shook her body as tears ran down her cheeks. And when it was over, Rachel rested her sweaty forehead against the cold ceramic surface and sobbed pathetically.

"Dick, please come back. Come back to me."

* * *

"Rachel, are you okay?" Dawn asked as soon as Rachel entered the kitchen in the morning. "You look a little pale."

The blonde woman took a step towards her, but she waved her off.

"A little bout of nausea. I think yesterday's dinner didn't sit right with me." It wasn't exactly a lie, but it justified her gray complexion and dark circles under her eyes. "But I'm okay now."

"And I can see your borrowed hoodie has changed color." Rose added from her seat at the table, smiling apologetically. Rachel smiled back and looked down at her clothes.

"Yeah, um… you were right. The other one needed a wash."

She tossed the green hoodie into the laundry basket before she even got back to bed - she didn't want the smell of vomit and sweat to compromise what was happening with her in the middle of the night. After that horrible nightmare, she didn't sleep until right before dawn, and in the morning she dove into Dick's closet to find another sweatshirt, a navy blue one this time.

Now it was no longer just about the comfort of a soft material on her skin and a familiar smell. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she bit her lower lip in fear. Pale complexion wasn't her biggest problem anymore. Rachel became a shadow of herself. She had not eaten much in the past few days, and the last meal she had she returned last night. Lack of appetite combined with constant stress and insomnia made her lose weight. The oversized hoodie hid it well under the folds of its fabric.

Kory walked over to her and put her arm around her.

"If you feel better, then sit down at the table." she said happily and gently pushed her towards the rest of the team. "Breakfast is almost ready."

During the meal, the adults shared the details of yesterday's mission. It turned out to be much easier than expected and they had a lot of fun with it. Several times the entire table burst out laughing.

Rachel was just finishing her raspberry jam toast when Donna's phone vibrated on the table. The brunette picked it up and smiled at the screen.

"It's Dick."

Everyone turned to look at her. Rachel froze with a piece of toast in her hand.

"Hey, Boy Wonder!" Donna greeted him with a smile, chewing on her piece of bacon. "What's u-"

Her face grew serious, her smile faded, and her eyes became hard and impenetrable. Rachel felt the familiar feeling of a garrotte string tightening around her throat.

Something was wrong.

"Yes." Donna said shortly and got up quickly from the table, almost knocking over the jug of juice. She rushed towards the hallway but froze mid-step before the entrance.

A complete silence fell over the table. Everyone waited anxiously for what they would hear. Rachel dug her nails into her knee and held her breath.

"I understand." Donna said to the phone. "Can I talk to him?"

Rachel exchanged a glance with Kory. The red-haired woman looked scared as well. They took each other's hands under the table and silently listened to the one-sided conversation.

"Hey… no, we're fine. What about you?... Oh, that bad, huh?... Uh, she-" Donna turned suddenly and stared at Rachel. "She's holding up somehow… yeah, of course… don't worry, I'll tell them. You rest… okay, bye."

She hung up and sighed deeply as her head fell on her chest. She returned to the table and sank heavily in her chair, hiding her face in her hands.

"Donna." Kory said, reaching out to her friend. "What the hell was that about?"

"Dick isn't coming back tonight." she announced in a grave tone. "Actually, he's not coming back for at least another week."

Rachel started shaking. She felt Kory's fingers tighten around her hand.

"What happened?" she stuttered and squeezed her friend's hand back.

"I didn't get a lot of details, but… the mission went sideways." the woman began to explain. "There was a bomb they didn't know about. Dick got hit by a shrapnel, and the shock wave threw him pretty hard. He has a concussion, a punctured lung, and he got an infection in the stab wound."

"Oh God…" Rachel sobbed, and Kory pulled her close.

_ This bad feeling has been bothering me since before he left _ , she thought.  _ And now this dream… Was that what it was about? Did I have a feeling this would happen? _

"How is he?" Gar asked. The boy was pale as a ghost.

"He's conscious, I've talked to him." A slight smile appeared on Donna's face. "He was lucky - the League had technology at hand that allowed him to survive the way back to the base. His lung has been repaired, but he has to fight the infection of the shrapnel wound. He said he'll be back as soon as he can get out of bed."

Rachel sniffed and wiped her tears with her sleeve, then snuggled closer to Kory. Donna gave her a sympathetic look.

"He was asking about you." she started gently. "Wanted me to tell you not to worry."

"Easy for him to say." Rachel replied wryly. "Can't we move him here?"

"I'm sorry kiddo, but we don't have good enough equipment to get him back on his feet in such a short time. He has to stay in Gotham."

"So let's go there!" she exclaimed, jumping up from her seat. She was desperate. She wanted to see him. Now. "I- I could heal him!"

"Rachel, honey, please calm down." Kory whispered and held out her hand to her. The girl stepped back quickly, shaking her head.

"How am I supposed to calm down when he might be dying out there!"

Her eyes glowed red and the room started shaking warningly. A variety of liquids spilled all over the table from trembling glasses. Rachel was on the verge of hysteria.

"Hey…" Kory tried again. "Everything's gonna be fine. Dick won't give up."

The nightmare from the night before suddenly came back to her. Her head was spinning. The living room tilted at an odd angle as the echo of her own words rang in her ears.

_ Don't give up! You hear me? Just a little longer, hold on! _

"Kory…"

The redhead came over to her and cupped her cheeks in her hands. Her face immediately became worried and… was that fear?

"Rachel, you're burning up!" she gasped, putting a hand to her forehead. "And you're shaking all over!"

"Kory… I- I think I'm gonna…"

But she didn't get to say anything more because at that moment her knees buckled under her and the world around her became enveloped in darkness.

* * *

She woke up feeling tired and fuzzy. Her arm itched and she noticed an IV drip standing to her right. But it wasn't the infirmary. Looking around, Rachel found herself in Dick's bedroom again, back in his bed.

"We've figured you'd feel more comfortable in here than that cold medbay." Gar's voice reached her from the left. He was sitting on the edge of the bed and held her hand in his. "You scared the living hell out of us, you know?"

"Sorry." she whispered back and then the two smiled at each other. "How long was I out?"

"About two hours." Gar replied, checking the time on his phone. "Uh… how are you feeling?"

"A little better. Probably thanks to that." she said, raising her hand to point at the cannula stuck on the inner side of her elbow. "Where is Kory?"

The boy's smile faded slightly as he turned his head towards the small living space. Kory was standing by the window with her back to them and talking to someone on the phone. She looked tense and spoke quiet enough that Rachel couldn't hear the words, even though they weren't far away from each other.

Gar looked at her again.

"We had to tell him."

She was about to ask what he meant but then Kory turned and their eyes met. Relief appeared on the woman's face and a slight smile curved her lips.

"Hold on, she's awake." she spoke quickly to the phone and walked over to the bed, immediately placing her hand on Rachel's forehead. Gar moved to make room for her.

"Oh, Rachel." she whispered as she stroked her face. "You feel better now?"

Rachel nodded slowly.

"That's good." The redhead sighed, then gently put the phone in her hand, smiling wider. "Someone wants to talk to you."

Surprised, she raised her eyebrows and looked first at the device in her hand and then at her friend's face. Her mind was still a little muffled as she tentatively lifted the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

First, she heard a deep sigh of relief. And then…

_ "Hi, kiddo." _

Tears filled her eyes and she had to press her hand to her mouth to muffle her sobbing. She felt like she's hearing this voice for the first time in ages.

"Dick…"

_ "Yeah, it's me." _ he chuckled softly. But when he spoke again, his tone turned serious.  _ "Kory told me what happened. Are you okay?" _

Rachel bit her lower lip and closed her eyes. She wanted to tell him about everything, but was afraid of his reaction. Will he get angry? Will it scare him? Will the stress affect his health?

"I'm better now." she began cautiously. "I still feel very tired. I have no strength for anything at all."

_ "Oh, Rachel, baby…" _ he breathed out softly. She imagined his face, features twisted by a mixture of worry, fear and tenderness. If he were here now, he would probably grab her hand, stroke her hair, or brush her cheek with his fingers. She wanted it so much right now.  _ "Kory also noticed that you've been losing weight." _

"I… lost my appetite." she started to defend herself. "I couldn't keep anything in my stomach, and last night-"

She paused as she noticed only now that she wasn't wearing his hoodie. Instead she had her pajamas on, which meant Kory must have changed her clothes and that's how she noticed the weight loss.

"Wait- the hoodie… Kory, where's the hoodie?"

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

"Don't panic." the woman smiled reassuringly at her and pointed to the armchair. "It's here. You can put it back on later."

Rachel nodded and then heard a soft laugh coming from the phone.

_ "Your Comfort Hoodie, right?" _ Dick said. She could hear a smile in his voice.  _ "That's how Donna called a series of photos from last week that she sent me today, showing a big ball of grumpy sweatshirt moping around the house. I understand you enjoy stealing my clothes now." _

Her cheeks flamed bright pink.

"I, uh… that was… sorry, I-"

_ "Hey, it's alright." _ he assured her.  _ "I don't mind. And you look cute in it. Did it help you?" _

Her lips stretched into a smile.

"Very. But maybe not enough."

_ "The important thing is that it helps. Stay in bed and rest. And try to eat something, okay?" _

"Okay." She agreed. But then she remembered what had happened to him and felt tears in her eyes again. "What about you? How are  _ you _ feeling?"

_ "It hurts like hell but I've been through worse." _ he admitted, his voice sounding a bit tense. As if he was trying to prop himself up in bed.  _ "But don't worry, Rach - The League has excellent doctors. I'll be back on my feet in a blink of an eye. And then I'll get back to you right away." _

She took a shuddering breath and felt a lump rising in her throat. That  _ blink of an eye _ seemed like an eternity at the moment.

"I could help…" she suggested hesitantly. "Try to heal you-"

_ "Not in your present condition." _ he pointed out to her.  _ "We can't risk it, Rachel. We'll both get better in our own time, okay?" _

Rachel couldn't hold back crying anymore. She began to tremble and tears ran down her cheeks.

"I miss you so, so much." she sobbed on the phone. "And I feel stupid that I need you so much, but I can't help it. I can't sleep, I can't focus on anything, I feel like crying all the time… And last night I had such a terrible nightmare…"

She was gasping for air now but her lungs didn't want to cooperate. She knew that Gar and Kory were watching her, listening to her every word. But she no longer wanted to hide how bad she felt. She wanted it to end.

"I just want you to come home."

For a long moment Dick didn't say anything and Rachel was afraid he would hang up. Or worse - that something happened and he passed out. But then she heard him clear his throat.

_ "I miss you too, honey." _ he said fondly. His voice trembled slightly, as if he himself was on the verge of tears.  _ "You don't even know how much. And there's nothing wrong with feeling this way. I've been in a similar state myself for the first few weeks you were gone. I was a wreck, you can ask the team. Everyone will confirm it." _

His laugh turned into a coughing fit, and Rachel's heart clenched with fear.

"Dick?"

_ "It's okay." _ he said after a moment.  _ "I'm fine." _

He took a few long, deep breaths before starting to speak again. His voice was weak and hoarse.

_ "Just remember it's only for a while. It will all be over soon. In the meantime focus on yourself, alright? Relax, rest. You're in my room, aren't you? Kory mentioned that you've been sleeping there lately." _

Rachel's gaze hung on the redhead for a moment. She knew about this? Of course she knew.

"Yeah. I sleep better here."

_ "I know, especially after nightmares." _ he sighed.  _ "Stay there. You're staying in bed until I get back, got it? That's an order." _

She chuckled and wiped away her remaining tears. She nodded eagerly, but when she remembered he couldn't see her, she said.

"Yes, sir."

_ "That's my girl." _ he replied with pride ringing in his voice.  _ "Rest now. I think I'll take a nap too. And I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" _

"Okay."

There was a slight pause before he spoke again.

_ "Rachel?" _

"Yeah?"

_ "I love you, baby girl." _

She almost broke down in tears again. He only said those words to her once before - the night she came back from Themyscira, when he put her to bed and tucked her in - and it was the first time he ever said it. Of course she had seen it clearly in his every look, every word, every touch and every action long before it happened. She knew he loved her but hearing it out loud made her feel like she could move mountains.

"I love you, too." she whispered, her voice trembling a little. Then she heard him chuckle. Guess this overwhelming feeling was mutual.

_ "See you soon, I promise." _

"I'm waiting."

When he hung up, she asked Kory to help her put the hoodie back on - it was a little difficult to do it on her own with an IV attached to her arm. Then she buried herself back in the sheets. 

Kory sat down next to her.

"You think you'll be able to eat something now?"

Rachel considered it for a moment.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Okay." the woman nodded and patted her hand affectionately. "I'll make you something light and be right back."

* * *

For the next few days, Rachel spent most of her time sleeping. She would only wake up to eat something or use the bathroom. She had no problem falling asleep anymore, and that horrible dream did not come back.

Dick called her everyday and they kept each other informed of their recovery progress. They talked in the evenings and Rachel often fell asleep with the phone by her ear because of his soothing voice. He usually spoke to her about his early days as Robin, sometimes he shared his memories of the circus, and only hung up when he was sure she had fallen into a deep sleep.

And finally one day he greeted her with the words:

_ "I'm coming back tomorrow." _

She was so happy she wanted to jump on the bed. But she wasn't in her full strength yet, so instead she squealed as loud as she could into the phone. Dick joked that it made him deaf.

She spent the next day on the couch in the living room, wrapped in his navy blue hoodie and a blanket, and stared at the entrance hall. She waited with nervous excitement for the familiar  _ ding _ and the hiss of the sliding doors.

As the sun began to set outside the windows, she started to worry. Her phone was silent, no messages or calls. Kory and Donna reassured her that everything was fine, that it was very likely that Dick would make it home in the middle of the night.

She decided to wait, but it didn't take long for her eyelids to start getting heavy. She curled up on the couch, wrapping the sweatshirt tighter around her, and before she knew it - she fell asleep.

She woke up to a familiar touch of a warm hand stroking her cheek. She slowly opened her eyes and looked straight into Dick's smiling face, his large brown eyes gleaming in the dim light of the lamps. He was kneeling on the floor in front of her, his bag and briefcase on the steps by the fireplace.

"Hi, baby." he whispered as his lips stretched into a soft smile.

"Dick?"

Rachel blinked a couple of times and slowly reached out to touch his face. She ran her fingers gently over now disappearing bruises around his left eye and when her hand slid down to his jawline, he took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

"Dick! You're back!"

She jumped off the couch and threw herself into his arms, nearly knocking him over. He hugged her tightly and, laughing, pressed his face to her neck.

"Yeah, I'm back, Rach."

He sat them both down on the couch and Rachel wasted no time climbing onto his lap. She was acting like a little girl trying to hide in her father's protective embrace. And that's exactly how she felt.

She clung to him like a baby monkey, with her arms around his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. She rested her head against his shoulder, and he hugged her tighter, placing a long, tender kiss on her hair. It made her feel better immediately - the little gesture was like a medicine that restored all her strength.

But the sudden sense of relief was so overwhelming that Rachel felt her throat close again and tears welling up in her eyes. Nothing could stop a series of sobs that shot through her body and escaped from her mouth.

Dick leaned back a little and cupped her face in his hands, wiping away her tears with his thumbs.

"My baby." he whispered lovingly. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm here. I'm back. Hey, shhh…"

He kissed her forehead and hugged her again, slowly rocking her in his arms.

"You've been gone so long."

"I know, honey."

She wanted to say more, how much she missed him, how much this hellish nightmare had scared her, but she couldn't stop crying.

"I'm sorry." she finally blurted out. "I just made you worry."

"Shhh, you have nothing to apologize for. If I knew something like this would happen, I'd stay home."

"I didn't want to distract you from such an important mission."

Dick pulled away and looked into her eyes.

"Not more important than you." Her head fell on her chest, but he lifted it back up, placing a hand on her cheek. "There's  _ nothing _ more important to me than you, okay?"

She smiled at him and nodded, sniffling. He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"You must be exhausted, huh?"

"Mhmm."

"Then come on, let's get you to bed."

He adjusted his grip on her and stood up with a groan, lifting her up. He swayed slightly, but after a moment he found his balance and moved towards the hallway.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked. "You were hurt."

"Oh, please." he chuckled. "Rachel, you were light as a feather even before I left."

She giggled and allowed him to carry her to his bedroom. He laid her down carefully on the bed and kissed her forehead.

"Sleep, okay? I'll be right back."

He went back to get his luggage and then disappeared in the bathroom. Rachel was almost asleep when, ten minutes later, he slipped into bed and pulled her to him, hugging her tight.

She rested her head against his chest and smiled at the sound of his heartbeat. It was so good to hear it again, for real this time.

"You're not going anywhere anymore, are you?"

He ran his fingers through her hair gently.

"Not without you." he kissed the top of her head again. "Sleep, my baby girl."

He didn't have to tell her twice. Locked in his warm embrace (and wrapped in his hoodie), she had no trouble falling asleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am again, ending a fic with the two of them falling asleep together. I'm sooooo predictable 🙄  
> How did you like it? Please let me know.  
> And if you liked this fic, there's more where it came from so make sure to check it out!  
> Comments and kudos as always appreciated (like for real, it makes my day) and if you want, come to say hi on my Tumblr @not-so-mundane-after-all-97
> 
> TILL THE NEXT TIME! 👋


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